I stayed up all night waiting for him to went back home,
I already had a feelings that something happenened,
My life suddenly changed …
I was preparing for your farewell party at this time. It’s been quiet a while you gone back home to where you belong. But now I realize that no emotions and feelings involved anymore. I believe that both You and Me already released and free.
Dian Kusuma Bhuwana Tampubolon, a beloved husband, father, son, brother, uncle, nephew, an Angel …. every one that knew you still have you in their memory. You are the sweetest and kindness soul I ever met. You are the best teacher in my life.
Again … thank you for everything and we love you forever. 💜💜💜
Since I learn to made this beautiful waving called Ojos De Dios, I’m so in love with it. From 4 sides to 16 sides to a 3 D. The first time I met this beauty was at a wpman circle. The woman that hold the space thought us how to made this beauty. And then let them go and put them on the tree or on the ground around us. It’s the practise to let go.
The Ojo de Dios or God’s eye is a ritual tool, magical object, and cultural symbol evoking the weaving motif for the Huichol and Tepehuan Indians of western Mexico. It’s symbolic of the power of seeing and understanding that which is unknown and unknowable, The Mystery.
Once I found my true self I already put down all the mask that I’ve been wearing. All of those time when I compromise with being normal. All of those time when I hid my feelings and emotions. All of those time when I do everything for the sake of others.
Is everything become easier without my mask? Absolutely no. Being genuine mean you ready to be rejected by others. Ready to feel pain. Ready to experience all kind of emotions and take them as they are. All kind of feelings that not all good you need to deal with.
There’s a time when you want to ran away and hide and disapear … as a human being I still feel negative emotions and sometimes I did mistakes also, I said and did something not right and maybe make others feels hurt. I cannot take everything back … what’s done os done.
Should I wear my mask again and pretend that all ok when I feel not ok? Should I cover my eyes, ears and all sense? When I feel like I wanna be alone and spend time in my cave it doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be reach and pull out.
I know that everything just illusion, I just need to keep remind my self I AM is not what I think, what I feel, what I do … all is ok they way it is. All is fine and beautiful… the good side of me, the evil side of me, the angel and the devil, Parvati and Kali, all is ok.
I forgive you dear self, I’m sorry for being too hard on you. Please forgive me to let you feel more and not remind you that there’s a feeling and emotions that came out. Sorry to let the feeling taking over you. Thank you for being so strong for all of this time … I LOVE YOU
So never wear the mask again, just be you no matter what.
Yesterday Evening as usual, every Sunday night I go to Havana Cafe to dance salsa. But this time is a little bit special. After I finished my dancing and took a little rest, I saw some children, a girl and a boy dancing on the dance floor, seems like they are siblings. After a while another little boy approached them and wanted to join but they didn’t let him. The little boy looked sad and he ran to his Mom to get a hug. Then I walked to them and asked if I can dance with him. Shy he nodded his head. Then I dance 1 full Bachata song with him, showed him a very simple steps so he can follow. And wad he really into the music, moved his little feet and smiled all the time. After the dance finished he gave me a big warm hug and smile. Glad that I did it.